Friday, January 31, 2014

Blogpost 2: Love Online

Having online relationships, especially in MMORPG (Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games) is one primal experience for a gamer. In real life, relationships is about cuddling, kissing, hugging and dating; in the cyber world, it is about saving your partner or couple in times of difficulties, gaining EXP (Experience) together, wandering that virtual world together, striving dungeons and quests together, and most especially, gaining trust and royalty. I used to be in a relationship within a game before. To be honest, it was as better (or sometimes even better) than a real life relationship. Love stories are a lot romantic and magical in MMORPGs. Since you are playing a “role” in that particular game, pre-weaved faith is laid on you and your partner. Both of you are ought to play the life of your avatars. But what are the pros and cons of this relationship? Can we consider online love as realistic and as true to the real world relationship?

To be committed requires a lot of effort and time. In the material world, open communication is not enough, and partners should also give enough physical, emotional and material things. In the world of gaming, everything you and your couple need is good internet connection, a computer (nevertheless the platform of your game) and most importantly time. According to the article “The Psychology of Massively Multi-User Online Role-Playing Games: Motivations, Emotional Investment, Relationships and Problematic Usage” of the site nickyee.com, Nicholas Yee says that, “Users spend on average 22.72 hours (n = 5471, SD = 14.98) each week in their chosen MMORPG. The lower quartile and upper quartile boundaries were 11 and 30 respectively. The distribution showed that about 8% of users spend 40 hours per week or more in these environments– the equivalent of a normal work week.”  With that huge amount of approximate time consumed, a player can invest a dozen of relationship (any kind of relationship) in one gameplay. Meeting up people online is a lot different than meeting up people in real life. You don’t see how the person looks like, but you see how he or she interacts with his/her comrades. And how does that lead to gamers being couples?

 There are cases that MMORP games have a system that enables players to marry another player online. In the game DDTank (a MMORPG I used to play), players can even make wedding ceremonies and bow oaths together, just like a real marriage. Other games like Sims, avatars can also make love and have kids. But not all games promote this kind of system. In another game I played, avatars become couples not by the system of the game but by the way they build up their relationship emotionally and psychologically. For example, in the game Adventure Quest Worlds (AQW), I’ve had an assumed couple. How will you classify that? Simple, if you and your couple have a commitment. How to be committed? Well, to tell you frankly, there is no specific way of gaining a partner in cyberworld. You can do missions, slay monsters, chill in or farm gold. But the most important thing you need to do is chat. Chat does the difference. Since it is an online world, you will communicate via chat and nothing else. You can go overboard and reach out that person in social media (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram) but technically in the game it is all just chat. The problem with chat is that it is not as precise as the real talk you do in life. According to the article “How to Tell if Someone’s Lying Online” of the site blog.womenshealthmag.com, Elizabeth Narins says that, “But when you’re going back and forth with someone and they take a bit longer than normal to respond, it’s not just mildly irritating—it’s also a possible sign that they’ve lied to you.” Everyone has the chance of altering their messages while chatting. Chances are that the messages they give are just formulated lies. Plus there is no way of clarifying if the thing he or she is saying true. I did alter myself when I had an online relationship before. Maybe because the cyberworld is a place where you can rule, where you can mould who you want to be.  You can be whatever you think your couple might like so it is very easy to end up changing your image. Presumably, online relationship is a sum of 30% truth and 70% lies.

                It may be dreamy and magical, but love without reality is not love at all. You may be in love with the person behind those fancy avatars but neither of your two eyes can tell if that person is someone you really love in the material world. I suggest if you really feel this strange strong connection with your partner online, don’t just be contented by chatting and seeing each other’s avatar; arrange a meet-up, go grab some lunch, hang-out and spend some real time together. Because at the end of the day, the cyberworld is just a world within our imagination. Even though that life sucks, you have to face it and live it. As long as you have each other’s back, no quest, no missions, no boss monsters of reality will end your love for each other. Who knows, the both of you might just realize that life is as easy as playing your game.

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